Samoizolacija kao prilika za rad na sebi/Self-isolation as an opportunity to work on yourself

“Ako ne znaš šta da radiš, radi na sebi. Tu uvijek ima posla.”

“Rad na sebi” podrazumijeva rad na ličnom rastu i razvoju na svim nivoima funkcionisanja: tjelesnom, mentalnom, emotivnom, i spiritualnom.

Neki od osnovnih ciljeva rada na sebi su:

  • rješavanje vlastitih emocionalnih problema
  • transformacija ograničavajućih uvjeranja u životno podržavajuća uvjerenja
  • osvještavanje i smanjivanje utjecaja ega u svakodnevnom funkcioniranju
  • podizanje nivoa svjesnosti o vlastitoj ulozi i odgovornosti u životu, itd.

Neki od načina za rad na sebi su:

  • psihoterapija
  • religijske i spiritualne prakse
  • različite edukacije (radionice, predavanja…)
  • čitanje literature
  • različite sportske aktivnosti (posebno body-mind aktivnosti)

Važno je da napomenem da ponekad rad na sebi okrenemo na
rad protiv sebe. Kao i u ostalim aktivnostima, možemo pretjerati! Glavni cilj je prihvaćanje sebe, a ne okretanje protiv sebe stalnim i nasilnim pokušajima mijenjanja svog identiteta. Sve što odbijamo da prihvatimo kod sebe, to još više raste.

Tek sa potpunim prihvaćanjem onoga što jesmo, moguća je promjena (u geštalt psihoterapiji to zovemo paradoksalnom teorijom promjene).

Svrha rada na sebi je potpuno i bezuvjetno prihvaćanje sebe. I svoje boli. I svojih ”loših”trenutaka. Svrha je biti sam sebi prijatelj. I da spoznaje do kojih dođete koristite na način da rade za vas, a ne protiv vas. 

Možemo i smijemo mijenjati samo sebe i to ne sa mjesta krivnje, već sa mjesta odgovornosti!

Neki od pokazatelja da ste napravili odličan rad na sebi su:

  • više ne prosuđujete druge ljude;
  • više ne prosuđujete ni sebe
  • više ne komentarišete niti interpretirate postupke drugih
  • više se ne sukobljavate sa drugima
  • više se ne brinete
  • uglavnom ste mirni
  • uživate u svakom trenutku svog života
  • često osjećate ogromnu zahvalnost
  • ugodno vam je sa drugima i u prirodi
  • često se smijete od srca
  • više ste spontani, djelujete iz ljubavi a ne iz straha
  • idete “nizvodno”, ne opirete se životu i ništa ne forsirate
  • imate više ljubavi za sebe i za druge

Možete procijeniti gdje se trenutno nalazite na svakoj od navedenih stavki?

Za kraj, predlažem dvije vježbe za osvještavanje samopodrške i podrške koju možete dobiti od drugih. Ovo su veoma važni aspekti rada na sebi.

Vježba 1

Koga u svom životu doživljavate/ste doživljavali kao divnog i podržavajućeg, kao uzora ili čak inspiraciju? Razmislite o toj osobi i kvalitetama kojima ste se divili kod njega/nje.

Sada zamislite neku svoju životnu situaciju koja vam je trenutno teška/neugodna ili neki svoj trenutni problem. Zamislite da je vaš podržavajući pratioc sa vama u tom trenutku. Šta vi vam rekao?

Vježba 2

Na listu papira napravite mapu vlastite mreže podrške. Postavite sebe u sredinu a zatim zapišite ili nacrtajte ljude ili stvari u vašem životu koji vas “hrane”. Napravite uži krug onih elemenata koji su vam najpouzdanija podrška, a zatim vanjske krugove sa sve manjom važnošću. Zatim napište koliko sedmično sati provedete sami ili u poslu, a koliko sa svojim podrškama? Da li vam se vaš omjer čini u redu?

Šta biste mogli promijeniti da povećate upotrebu podrške iz okoline? Ako ne tražite, ne možete ni dobiti podršku od drugih.

“If you don’t know what to do, work on yourself. There’s always work to do. “

“Working on Yourself” means working on personal growth and development at all levels of functioning: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Some of the basic goals of working on yourself are:

• solving your own emotional problems

• transforming limiting beliefs into life-supporting beliefs

• awareness and reduction of ego influence in everyday functioning

• raising awareness of one’s own role and responsibility in life, etc.

Some of the ways to work on yourself are:

• psychotherapy

• religious and spiritual practices

• various trainings (workshops, lectures …)

• reading literature

• various sports activities (especially body-mind activities)

It is important to note that sometimes you can turn working on yourself to working against yourself. As in other activities, we can overdo it! The overriding goal is accepting oneself, not turning against oneself through constant and violent attempts to change our identities. Everything we refuse to accept with us grows even more. Only with full acceptance of who we are is change possible (in Gestalt psychotherapy we call it paradoxical theory of change).

The purpose of working on yourself is to accept yourself completely and unconditionally. And your pain. And your “bad” moments. The purpose is to be a friend to yourself. And use the insights you come up with to work for you, not against you.

We can and should only change ourselves, not from a place of blame, but from a place of responsibility!

Some of the indicators that you have done a great job on yourself are:

• you no longer judge other people

• you no longer judge yourself

• you no longer comment or interpret the actions of others

• you no longer clash with others

• you no longer worry

• you are mostly calm

• you enjoy every moment of your life

• you often feel overwhelming gratitude

• you are comfortable with others and in nature

• you laugh often from the heart

• you are more spontaneous, acting out of love and not out of fear

• you go “downstream”, do not resist life and do not force anything

• you have more love for yourself and others

Can you estimate where you currently stand on with each of these items?

Lastly, I suggest two exercises for bringing awareness about self-support and social support that you can get from others. These are very important aspects of working on yourself.

Exercise 1

In your life, who do you see / perceive as wonderful and supportive, as role model or even inspirational? Think about that person and the qualities you admired for him / her.

Now, imagine some of your life situations that are currently difficult / unpleasant to you or some of your current problems. Imagine that your supportive companion is with you at that moment. What would he/she say?

Exercise 2

Make a drawing of your own support network on a sheet of paper. Put yourself in the middle and then write down or draw people or things in your life that “feed” you. Make the short circuit of those elements that you trust the most, and then the outer circuits of smaller importance. Then write down how many weekly hours you spend alone or in business, and how much with your support people/activities? Does your ratio seem right to you?

What could you change to increase the use of social support? If you don’t ask, you can’t get support from others.

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