Kako biti sam sa sobom? How to be alone with yourself?

Kako biti sam sa sobom?

“Ako niste zadovoljni kad ste sami sa sobom, to znači da ste u lošem društvu. Da ste u društvu neke druge osobe, mogli biste nju/njega okriviti da je odgovoran za vašu nesreću, ovako se morate suočiti sa sobom”. (Sadhguru)

Jedna od možda najznačajnijih promjena u “doba korone” je činjenica da su se ljudi morali izolovati na duži period, što podrazumijeva smanjeni socijalni kontakt (bar onaj uživo) te veću usmjerenost na sebe i bivanje sa sobom.

Mnogima je upravo to najteži dio cjelokupne situacije, jer smo do sada mogli pribjegavati raznim distraktorima kojima smo pravdali to što se ne posvećujemo dovoljno sebi, te nam je postalo potpuno normalno da smo uvijek u nekom pokretu, u poslu, u društvu, zauzeti i prezauzeti.

Zapravo, nikada prije nismo dali sebi šansu da budemo sami. Fraza “biti sam sa sobom” u našem društvu još uvijek ima neku negativnu vibraciju, kao da je to nešto abnormalno, čudno, strano.

Nikada prije nismo imali jedinstvenu šansu da istražimo kako je to biti sam sa sobom i na koje nam sve načine to služi kao što je imamo sada.

Zbog toga je ovo idealno vrijeme da se zapitamo da li smo sami sebi najbolji prijatelj?

Kako ćemo to saznati?

1) Možete svjesno pratiti kakav je vaš unutrašnji govor. Šta najčešće sami sebi govorite? Da li su to ohrabrujuće poruke, poput, “ti to možeš”, “super si”, “ti si prava osoba za ovaj posao” “ti si najbolji roditelj za svoje dijete”…ili su to neke samoponižavajuće poruke, kakve nikada ne biste uputili najboljem prijatelju?

2) Možete osvijestiti kako se brinete o svom fizičkom tijelu, kakvu hranu unosite u sebe? Sve što unesemo u sebe, postaje dio nas. Šta bi voljeli da postane dio vas?

Šta biste savjetovali najboljem prijatelju da jede?

3) Osvijestite kakve sadržaje gledate, čitate, slušate…da li je vaš TV uvijek uključen? Da li dopuštate da sadržaji koje je birao netko drugi, poput reklama, nasilnih filmova i sl. dominiraju vašim prostorom?

Sigurna sam da ćete nakon ovoga osvijestiti još puno toga, što vam ne služi, i što ne biste preporučili svom najboljem prijatelju. Odlično! Vi imate moć da to sve promijenite i napravite nove izbore koji će vam služiti.

Kada postanemo najbolji prijatelj sami sa sobom, nestat će osjećaj usamljenosti koji je formiran upravo zato što nikada nismo vjerovali da smo dovoljno vrijedan pratilac sebe; jer nismo vjerovali da su najvažniji razgovori koje trebamo obaviti upravo oni koje ćemo obaviti sami sa sobom, gdje ćemo se zapitati šta je to što ja želim? Šta to meni treba? Šta ću ja sada poduzeti u svom životu?

Neće biti više usamljenosti jer ćete osvijestiti da vam ne treba druga osoba biti izvor vaše radosti, zabave, zadovoljstva, prevelika je to odgovornost za drugu osobu. Vi to sve možete biti sami za sebe a sve što dođe od drugih je prekrasan bonus!

Glavna spiritualna istina je da smo mi sami sebi najbolji i najlojalniji pratilac i da je naša odgovornost kako ćemo njegovati taj sveti odnos sa sobom.

Osjećaj usamljenosti dolazi iz uvjerenja da mi sami nismo sebi dovoljni da budemo ispunjeni. Šta ako je ova situacija fenomenalna prilika da promijenite ovo uvjerenje i da se počnete radovati što ćete biti u svom društvu?

Ovo je odlična prilika da se upoznamo i da se zavolimo. Kada izgradimo takav odnos pun ljubavi prema sebi, imat ćemo još bolje odnose sa drugima.

Ako se sad pitate kako to sve postići, predložila bih vam jedan prekrasan i moćan ritual koji je osmislila Louise Hay. Svako jutro, kada pogledate sebe u ogledalo, pokušajte si reći “Volim te”. “Stvarno te jako jako volim”.

Za neke će ovo biti veoma teško. Ipak pokušajte. Vidjet ćete da će vam svaki put biti sve lakše i lakše.

Ako primijetite tokom dana da ste učinili nešto zbog čega počinjete osjećati krivicu ili sram, opet se pogledajte u ogledalo i recite si “Volim te, unatoč tome što si….” I pokušajte sebi oprostiti o čemu god da se radi.

Ljubav prema sebi je najvažnija! Kada jednom postanete toga svjesni, sve će se promijeniti u vašem životu. Osoba koja voli sebe, vrlo je pažljiva prema sebi. Takva osoba je oprezni čuvar svog unutrašnjeg prostora. Ona/on pazi šta jede, kako se odnosi prema tijelu, kakve sadržaje gleda, kako se izražava, i veoma joj/mu je stalo do toga kako se osjeća.  Iskoristite ovo vrijeme da se povežete sa sobom kao nikada prije i postanite takva osoba za dobrobit svih.

How to be alone with yourself?

“If you are not satisfied when you are alone with yourself, it means you are in bad company. If you were in the company of another person, you could blame him or her for being responsible for your unhappiness, but now you have to deal with yourself.” (Sadhguru)

One of the most significant changes in the “Corona age” is the fact that people had to isolate themselves for a longer period, which implied reduced social contact and a greater focus on being with themselves.

For many, this is the most difficult part of the whole situation, because so far we have been able to use various distractors as excuses for not devoting enough time for ourselves, and it has become completely normal for us to always be busy, in some movement, working hard, or always in company with others…

In fact, we have never given ourselves the chance to be alone before. The phrase “be with yourself” in our society still has some kind of negative vibe, as if it is something abnormal and strange.

We have never before had a unique chance to explore what it is like to be with ourself and in what ways it serves us.

So this is the perfect time to ask ourselves if we are our best friend.

How do we find out?

1) You can consciously monitor your self talk. What do you most often say to yourself? Are these encouraging messages such as, “you can do this”, “you are great”, “you are the right person for this job”, “you are the best parent for your child” … or are they some self-deprecating messages that you would never say to your best friend?

2) You can become aware of how you take care of your physical body, what kind of food do you bring into yourself? Everything we bring into ourselves becomes a part of us. What would you like to become a part of you? What would you advise your best friend to eat?

3) You can make yourself aware of what content you are watching, reading, listening to… is your TV always on? Do you allow content selected by someone else, such as commercials, violent movies, etc. dominate your space?

I am sure that after this you will become aware of  lots of more things that don’t serve you and that you would not recommend to your best friend. Great! You have the power to change all that and make new choices that will serve you.

When we become best friends with ourselves, the feeling of loneliness, formed precisely because we never believed that we were a worthy companion to ourselves, would disappear; because we did not believe that the most important conversations are the ones with ourselves, where we would ask ourselves what is it that I want? What do I need? What am I going to do in my life now?

There will be no more loneliness because you will realize that you do not need another person to be a source of your joy, fun, pleasure, this is too much responsibility for the other person. You can do it all for yourself and everything that comes from others is a wonderful bonus!

The main spiritual truth is that we are our best and most loyal companion and that it is our responsibility to nurture this holy relationship. The feeling of loneliness comes from the belief that we alone are not enough to be fulfilled. What if this situation is a phenomenal opportunity to change this belief and start looking forward to being in your company?

This is a great opportunity to meet and love ourselfs. When we build such a relationship full of self love, we will have even better relationships with others.

Now, if you are wondering how to accomplish all this, I would suggest one beautiful and powerful ritual designed by Louise Hay. Every morning, when you look at yourself in the mirror, try to say “I love you”. “I really, really love you.”

For some, this will be very difficult. Try anyway. You will see that it will get easier and easier each time.

If you notice during the day that you have done something that makes you feel guilty or ashamed, look in the mirror again and say to yourself “I love you despite of….” And try to forgive yourself for whatever it is.

Self-love is most important! Once you become aware of this, everything will change in your life. The person who loves himself/herself is very attentive. Such a person is a cautious keeper of his/her inner space. Such a person watches what to eat, how to treat the body, what content to let in, how to expresses, and takes care of his/her emotions. Use this time to connect with yourself like never before and become such a person for the benefit of all.

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